The bed I'm going to get!

My room is pretty small and cramped. So I think with all of the drawers this bed has it would be great for me! I would be able to take my dresser and bookshelf out of my room clearing up a lot of space! I can't wait :)

Finally

The past few months have been pretty rough, I take that back the past year has been pretty rough. And with all the down days there were days of extreme joy. And which ones do I remember? The joyful ones of course. This made me realize that through sorrow and pain it's the joy within that that sticks out in our memories forever. I don't remember feeling sad, lonely or full of pain, I know I felt that way but I only remember feelings of joy, peace, comfort and love. The past two weeks have been the hardest and best weeks I've had in a long time. That hymn that says "joy and sorrow interwoven, love in all I see" has been running through my mind over and over again. These feelings of joy however far outway the feelings of sorrow and grief. Besides without these hard times how would we be thankful for the good times? Sometimes it's hard to be thankful for experiences that make you feel emotions you don't want to feel, but for myself I learn more from those than I do the easy experiences. I've also noticed if I dwell on what's going wrong then guess what?! I'm going to feel bad, but if I dwell on things that are good and make me happy then I will have joy. Lately every time I feel down I think of all that I have to be thankful for. All the friends who have been there for me whenever I've needed them for support or just companionship, this is what I think I am most thankful for. It's so wonderful to have those you can look up to as examples when you don't really know what to do. I'm thankful for parents that love me, a sister who loves me and granparents who also love me. I am also so thankful for workers that I can talk to about anything and will just listen to me when that's what I need. I've just been thinking about how I am as a person. What do people see? Am I a good example? Am I encouraging? Am I worthy to be looked up to? I want to be all of these things. In this part of my life where all seems to be changing all the time, it's nice to have peace and joy knowing that whatever happens it's ok. It's hard to allow that to be for me, because I seem to want to be in control of everything, and not being in control is sort of scary. But at the same time I know it's good that I'm not in control, because by now if I was things would be a disaster! I'm just filled with a feeling of overwhelming thankfulness, joy, peace and contentment.

Just for the record...

I. LOVE. getting hand written letters in the mail.

the end.

Uneventful

That's the adjective that describes my life as of right now. Not saying it's not busy though!!! Just nothing amazingly excitingly wonderful haha. The past few weeks have actually been pretty rough and stressful, but I'm not going to let life get to me! School is going well. I got an 80 on my first biology test and a 90 on my first medical terminology test! I'm sooo glad it's going so well. It takes a little bit of worrying away. That's about all that's going on!

Thoughts

I have been thinking about what was said at Shane's funeral lately. Everyone I heard talking about him said that he was a man that lived for God. And that was so true.It just kinda made me wonder if the way I'm living portrays the same thing. Everyone seems to want to be a good leader and a good example, but the only way to do that is to be a follower of God and a doer of his will. I wonder what people see in me? Lately I have felt like I'm going in circles, not really headed in any direction for certain. This is hard for me, I like to know what's going to happen and even more than that I like to be in control and I'm not! I just want to be a person that people see as a follower of God.

Quote

“some people come into our lives and quietly stay. Others stay for a while leaving footprints in our hearts and we are never the same.”

Shane

We'll Miss You!